Why do I get annoyed at people? a reflection on learning not to judge

I’ve been getting frustrated at people and at situations a lot lately! God, when am I going to get a break from these situations, finally? Where on this round planet can I go to get some peace?

Honestly, I think wherever I go, I can get bugged. People and situations that can annoy me are everywhere. And that’s because I am with myself everywhere I go! The habit of getting annoyed by situations and people follows me everywhere until I face it. And God knows how hard those encounters are… it’s like opening tons and tons of cans of worms. To the point that I cannot move because there are millions of worms crawling everywhere…

This situation is so disappointing, but this is what it is.

I intuitively feel that there must be a way to deal with all those worms. I mean, a way to not open those cans, but to send them straight to the garbage bin. There must be a way. Otherwise, this issue will remain unsolved until I die. I cannot take this frustration for more decades to come (if I am lucky enough to live an average human lifespan).

I have not found a solution to that big issue, but surprisingly, when my mind is occupied with finding a solution, I get hints here and there. I don’t know how to explain it, but I know it happens.

Lately, I was reading a book where, in one of the chapters, the author was pointing out ways to get into a creative flow so you can write with the least amount of what he called “writer’s block.” Somewhere along the way, he said that one way to get inspiration is not to judge anyone or any situation. He said when you encounter a situation, just observe and gather as much information as you can without judging.

He gave a very tangible example, and that’s why it stayed with me. He said when he encounters people who act weirdly (no matter what kind of weirdness), he doesn’t get angry or upset or frustrated. He just says: “Wow, that type of person exists.”

He said this has become part of his personality now. He also mentioned that after observing enough, he may judge, but not instantly, because he has been wrong many times by judging too quickly.

I have been trying to act similarly. Today, I sat by myself, remembered the frustrating situation/person, and told myself: “Wow, that type of person exists.” Then I felt something like ice on my heart. It was like something cooled down.

Needless to say, the ice effect didn't last long, when my well-trained judgement muscles took over again quickly. But then I tried again, repeating to myself “Wow, that type of person exists,” and again, it felt cool.

Who knows how many times I need to repeat this to reach the level that the author talks about. But for now, this is the best solution I have… I’m sure other hints will arrive from other sources.

Bye for now.

P.S.: Just in case you’re curious about that book, here is the link to the Amazon page. I’m not sponsored. I just thought that was a good read. It might help others gain some control over their nerves… amen.