I have studied for twelve years at university: having two completed master’s degrees, one unfinished master’s degree, a bachelor’s degree and a one-year full-time certificate. Now after all that education and years of working in related fields, I am done!

I left my job last month. Not abruptly, but in phases. Since 2023, I had felt myself prematurely aging and perishing inside. I was physically present at work but my mind was somewhere else: In beautiful designs, forms and colours.

Gradually I realized my feet were not fully on the ground, I was somewhere between this world with its well-known rules and structure and at the same time inside an invisible bubble. I am still in that space, except now the bubble is taking shape.

This new world is rarely touched or spoken about, so I do not know how to understand it except by experiencing it myself. As this bubble grows, so does my need to explore it. And so living fully in what I call the “known world” is getting harder. My feet remain in the known world but my heart and mind are drawn towards the unseen, where unknown rules govern.

In February 2026, I took a leap outside the known world. I realized that everything I had learnt was not enough to discover this new realm. More precisely, I had very limited knowledge about it and that I was so, so lost.

My experience about this new world is not new, though. Throughout my childhood, adolescence and adulthood, I had moments when I was pulled towards it.

My dad had a wall-length library and this library was my open buffet. I fed my mind there during my teenage years. I read most of his books, from “Gone with the Wind”, “The Last Days of Ferdinand Sauerbruch”, “Sybil”, “The Egyptian”,“The Picture of Dorian Gray”, and one day it was time for “Razor’s Edge” by Somerset Maugham… That book shook me.

I read all these books secretly, hiding them inside my schoolbooks so my family would not notice. I remember when I finished “The Razor's Edge” I sobbed, from excitement and a strange sadness mixed with delight that I could not explain. I couldn't hide my tears, so I hid myself and felt this extraordinary pure emotion of sorrow and joy. What an exceptional personality and thoughts Larry had! I wish I could experience this world with him or the way he did! Larry stayed with me over the years, he planted a sacred seed that kept on growing by years.

After that experience, the doors of my mind started to open to this new world. I began longing for that bittersweet feeling. I searched for it in every corner and found fragments of it in different books. Different emotions were ignited, emotions I had never experienced before. I am still amazed by how many different emotions a human being can feel. I don't understand this when Scientists say human experiences are 17 to 20 core emotions. I have felt far more, and the number keeps growing.

The bottom line is I am starving. After all my university education, I am still starving. I am deprived of the kind of mental nourishment that gives those essential vitamins and minerals I need so I can stand on my feet. My feet are shaking and my muscles feel weak. I cannot walk, let alone fly.

At this point of my life, I have reached this conclusion: it is time for me to educate myself. Not through the materials that have been designed for mass for a degree or credentials. I need to satisfy my own yearning. I will let it choose what it wants to be fed.

Here is where my story truly begins.