Today is my last day of work before I’m on my own. I feel excited, but also uneasy. Sometimes I get caught in the thought that I don’t exactly know what I’m doing, and that makes me uncomfortable. Still, I’m certain of one thing. I’m doing the right thing.

It’s not that I chose to quit. It feels more like I had no other option. My day job was making me old. It was making me die while I was still breathing and burying my dreams. After many years of working for others and receiving a biweekly paycheck, being on my own feels unfamiliar and unstable. But this is an instability I have to learn to live with.

I have plans. I have dreams. I want to reconnect with myself and with the nature around me. I’ve been physically close to both, but mentally and emotionally far for a long time, perhaps since I was six or seven years old. It’s time to listen to what my heart yearns for, what my soul begs for, and what I’ve been ignoring around me for too long. Have I been deaf at heart? Numb? Manipulated? It’s hard to say.

The moon was beautiful tonight. Just looking at it and walking under its light was a huge relief.

At the end of the day, I said goodbye to my colleagues, logged off, and went out for a walk. I needed to settle things with myself. The walk made me calmer and left me feeling excited about what’s ahead.

I’ve always been fascinated by how the moon stuns animals. I hope to experience that someday.